Choose how to Respond to Disappointment, by Barbra Schulte

Barbra Schulte

No one escapes painful disappointments. Your horse has an injury. A trusted friend makes an unkind remark about you or your horse. You’re disappointed in your show arena results … again. While none of us escapes some version of our own difficult disappointment, we can choose how we respond to it. The good news is that how we think about things is a powerful personal choice … and can fuel our personal growth.
Most of us want to fix the disappointment immediately … or lash out against someone or something. We react. When we react, we resist. This is understandable … after all we’ve just lost our horse’s soundness (and future time we had planned to ride,) or lost our precious trust in someone we confided in (very painful), or lost confidence that we can really be competitive.

What follows are some suggestions for things you can do to find relief from your pain, and ultimately reconcile in a positive way with your disappointment.

First … get calm. Tell yourself above all … breathe. Take a moment just to get quiet within before you do anything more, or make any further decisions. If you need to get calm again in the next minute, do so. Breathe again. Talk to yourself again. Calmness is so powerful because it brings relief in the moment. It also clears the chaos of our minds so we have the chance to see things more objectively. It gives us time to process events and make the best decision possible.

Secondly, kick in your belief that within every difficult situation, there is an equal to or greater gift waiting to be discovered by you. Revisit your faith. Trust that the key to uncovering this painfully gained treasure is your openness and willingness to seek it. Often during the initial moments and days of disappointment, it’s too early to see what wonderful gain could be yours … but knowing the gift will come in it’s own time opens the door so that it truly CAN show up in it’s own time.

When disappointments strike … pause.

Consciously return to calmness.

Know all will be well at some later time (if not today!)

You have a gift waiting for you as you open to this knowing.

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